I am still around

All is not lost. I am still around. My daughter is 16 months old now, sleeping relatively well with a through-the-night sleep schedule most of the time. this affords me a modicum of relative normalcy to my rest schedule which is conducive to consciousness exploration. Or so I keep telling myself.

Not a lot to report in this post. More to come soon. I have had some strange dreams and one OBE since I last posted. I notice all my audio file links from previous posts are no longer working. No worries, I still have the originals (plus some more) and am searching for a better alternative for hosting them. Once I find a place for them, I will re-post them up here with new links.

I am still working with Advanced Focus 10 - mostly due to the fact that I have had almost NO TIME to devote to regular listening. I work an 8-4:30 job and my daughter goes to bed at 8PM, so we do all the things we can from 8PM until our bed time like dishes, cleaning, laundry, etc. that my daughter makes it hard to accomplish earlier in the afternoon. So I usually only find the time on weekends to use the Gateway CDs during her mid day nap. but that's infrequent at best since we generally spend that time exhausted and resting or doing more chores!

Never fear, I am still working on eking out my time. Adjusting to being a dad is still on-going, and I'd have it no other way. :)

Finally got some good rest last night.

Read a little of Moen’s second book, then off went the lights. No Gateway Voyage for me. I knew I needed sleep. I slept all the way through despite drinking an entire bottle of water minutes before falling to sleep. Been sick lately and the meds have been dehydrating me. I had a few strange dreams, but I was too deep to remember most of them.

I do remember in one I had invented a new sleeping bag. It was a summer model, part mesh, part fold over blankets with wood poles up the sides for stability since it was flimsy and handy brackets for hanging it up in your house as a decoration. I even remember it being sold under the label Ralph Lauren because with the white mesh material of part of the bag, it matched his boating New England fashion style. What ever.

Let this be a lesson to everyone. When you’re sick, just rest and drink lots of fluids. Leave the consciousness exploring to itself until you get better.

Fell asleep during CD and had VERY strange dreams

I was listening to Advanced Focus 10 last night (Wave I, disc 2). I got past the resonant breathing, started my REBAL and drifted off to day-dream-land and snapped back out of it when Monroe said, “now breathe normally and relax.” Next thing I know I am waking up with my head hurting from the headphones. The track was over, and it had been long enough that my MP3 player shut itself off in locked mode.

I went to sleep after that and had some very vivid and unpleasant dreams full of anxiety. In one of them I was at work and someone (a female) in an authority position handed me a stack of work I had done asking me how in the world I could have missed a simple but critical step I have not missed in my 8 years working there. I was flabbergasted, flitted through them, and started trying to think of an excuse when I could see no rational reason for the errors. I felt myself literally ‘turn inward,’ ignoring the environment around me focusing only on my thoughts, and start spinning yarns internally to see which was more plausible worrying at the same time that this authority figure sitting at her desk in front of me would ask what I was doing saying nothing just standing there with glazed-over eyes (which she never did.) Each excuse I came up with ended in, “no I need to own up for this even though I can’t remember screwing them up because clearly it could have been no one else.”

Before I could resolve the situation, I woke up to my alarm clock. I felt unhappy, tired, and dehydrated. Thinking back on it, it felt very un-dream-like; more vivid than any regular dream. That, coupled with the fact that I have not dreamed about work in years, and the strange sequence of events in the plot of the dream lead me to believe it was a ‘teaching dream.’ I think I woke up before I learned my lesson though.

Back at it finally!

My daughter will be 3 months old tomorrow. Our sleeping arrangements have settled into a pattern (not optimal, but we are working on that.) I have had two bad sinus infections the last two months! I am on the tail end of my last one now.

Every night, my wife has been sleeping in the living room with the baby. It’s the only way we’ve been able to get her to sleep at night and the only way we could get any sleep as well.

So I have been going to bed, by myself, every night. Now that I am no longer ill and needing my rest I have found that this suits listening to the Gateway Voyage very well.

Last night I put on my German engineered sound reduction too-expensive headphones, lay down and listened to Wave I, Advanced Focus 10. I still kept pretty quiet on the resonant tuning as I didn’t want to disturb anyone else in the house. I half day dreamed my way through the REBAL, then settled in for the descent to F10. I dozed out (not asleep, just … not totally aware of what was going on, a very strange feeling) around the 2-3 count. I came back to full awareness around the end of the 4 count and drifted back off at around 10. I felt like I was dreaming but I didn’t remember falling asleep (which is something I usually remember.) I ‘woke’ back out of this state of awareness as Monroe counted me down and out of F10.

When Monroe started to count me back to F10, I started feeling some unpleasant drainage and discomfort in my limbs, so I turned the exercise off and went to sleep.

I had some STRANGE dreams too; a very vivid dream with a few wake-ups and continuations about my struggle with a zombie attack. I may recount the dream here, but it really doesn’t seem all that important.

Oh, I also just got Bruce Moen’s 2nd book in his ‘Exploring the Afterlife series’, Voyage Beyond Doubt. I am reading it now.

It's something...

I have been unable to find the time and rest to relax into the exercises or my own attempts with the baby in the house and all the disruptions that come with her.

However, I am re reading Monroe's books just to keep my mind on things.

This morning I went through the regular routine of waking Jen up who fell asleep on the couch with the baby for the morning feeding. I went back to bed as she showered and the baby fell back asleep in her pack-n-play. I started awake at her grunting but she fell back asleep. As I drifted off I felt the vibrations again! I was so happy to experience them again I almost got too excited.

Instead, I relaxed into them and felt them surge through my whole body and I concentrated on remaining awake and aware while ... whatever... happened.

I felt a distinct forward (in the direction I was facing) movement and with it a distinct fading of physical sensations including the vibrations. I didn't get far before some noise... the baby, a dog, whatever... startled me out of it.

I fell asleep for a few more minutes of rest before work, vowing to remember it.

This blog is not dead

Our daughter is seven weeks old tomorrow. I just got over a severe sinus infection, now my wife has it and so does the baby. No one in our house is sleeping right now, and I am certainly out of energy for OBE’s at the moment.

Activity will resume, so stay tuned.

Side note: I am re-reading the Monroe Trilogy. I seek inspiration and motivation.

A Small Notation

Though not an OBE, I am trying to record all things I find related in my experiences.

The audio journal entry:
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=503644785.wma